Autobiography

Gantos, Jack. 2002. Hole in my life. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

Summary: This fascinating autobiography by author Jack Gantos, tells the story of his youthful mistakes that earned him time in a federal prison. This memoir candidly explores his reckless youth, his drug habit and finally how he wound up being arrested for drug smuggling. Spending almost 1 ½ years in prison brought about a turning point. The experiences he had there, some very frightening and violent were enough to make him want to turn his life around. During his time there he kept a journal of his experiences. He realized that the consequences of his behavior, which tested him mightily, were a good way to learn about what was really important in life. When he came out, he was rehabilitated and never returned to drugs or crime again. Instead he went to college and became a well known writer. And as he says at the end of the book, he is “out in the open doing what I have always wanted to do. Write.” (Gantos 2002, 200)

Analysis/Impressions: While I found this autobiography difficult to read, I also found it hopeful. The book is an honest, but sometimes brutally painful look at the life of a young person who has wasted his youth. It is also about redemption of a life.

Telling ones own story gives it a certain credibility that even the most well researched biographies can’t have. Jack Gantos lived his story and no one knows it better than he did. The book chronicles events in his life, but does so with a great amount of introspection and reflection on the events.

Gantos writes about the events in his life that lead up to going to prison, the restlessness and aimless he felt, the drugs and the poor companions. Eventually those companions led him down the wrong path, and he found himself on a boat smuggling hashish into New York. Sentenced to a federal prison, he faces a level of violence he has never seen before and actually fears for his life. Fortunately he finds a job working as an x-ray technician in the prison hospital which provides a level of protection.

His descriptions of prison life are very graphic and at times disturbing. Some of the sexual violence in the prison may not be appropriate for younger readers.

If Gantos were simply telling a story of his prison experiences, I would not be interested in reading his book. Yes, it is riveting and well written, but I feel the value of the book is in the lessons learned from his experiences. The book can be invaluable as a way of helping young people to avoid the mistakes he has made. I don’t think he is in any way glorifying the life he lived or making excuses for his mistakes. He takes full ownership for what he did. He also provides hope for those who may have been caught in the same trap and want a way out. He used hope and determination to keep him going and he received another chance.

Gantos is someone who has always had a sense of what he wanted to do. Somehow he was able to keep this dream alive during the darkest times. He wrote “In prison I got a second chance to realize I did have something to write about. I found plenty of serious subjects. I had plenty of time to write about them and I couldn’t get up and run away, or drink, or smoke dope.” (2002, 186) While I’m sure prison wouldn’t have been his school of choice, it did provide the learning experience he needed to make positive changes in his life.

The book covers only a few years of Gantos life, but perhaps these were the most significant years of his life. He chose writing and writing was in a sense, his salvation. He admits, that when he was out of prison and struggling financially, he was once tempted to sell drugs to make extra money. His strength of character allowed him to walk away and continue on the right path.

The title of this book is very appropriate. Jack realized early on that his life was missing something. All of us have an empty hole in our souls that we will try to fill. Some of us will use food, sex, cars, drugs or even work to fill it up. It is only when we find something that brings us true fulfillment, that the hole is filled. For Gantos, that fulfillment came from writing. It took him a few hard knocks to learn that and this book is the record of that.

I would recommend this book for older teens. Younger teens may find it hard to handle.

Review Excerpts:
“Much of the action in this memoir--some of it quite raw and harsh--will be riveting to teen readers. However, the book's real strength lies in the window it gives into the mind of an adolescent without strong family support and living in the easy drug culture of the 1970s” (School Library Journal, May 2002, vol. 48, no. 5)

“Readers will be relieved and glad that he found his way back, and high-schoolers who devoured the Jack books in their middle-grade youth will savor the acerbic exploration of their author's formative time.” (Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books, May 2002, vol. 55, no. 9)